It’s been 10 months since I started this journey of wellness. When I started I was at my lowest. I had gained so much weight because I would eat for happiness. I couldn’t wait to get home and fill up my snack plate and turn on a movie. I would eat until I couldn’t move and then feel miserable for eating so much, go to sleep, wake up, go to work and repeat. It was like a scene from Ground Hog Day with Bill Murray.
I wanted to wake up and be done with the cycle of destruction. It had been going on for 4 years, but nothing seemed to stick. I was so miserable and it exuded out of me. I was sad, but could never cry, so instead I would be angry at everyone who loved me and that I loved. I didn’t feel worthy.
It was a dark place to be in.
Today is brighter. I have been putting in the work that is required to love myself. I feel lighter in my soul and happier with life. I have lost 41 pounds and counting. The weight is so much more than fat lost; it is also pounds of regret, angry and sadness. A metamorphism to a better version of myself, the one I lost somewhere along this beautiful life.
People ask me how did I lose the weight and stay committed this time. What was different? My response is that it started with the birth of a new life, pure love and hope. I took a step forward and made the commitment to “Be Kind to Myself” and believed that the rest would follow.
And the rest did follow. I found and I am still finding love for myself, gratitude, growth and love for my body and life. I found peace and forgiveness for myself. I’m still a work in progress; I will always be a work in progress. I look forward to putting in the work, spreading kindness to others and being a better me for myself and this world.